31 de marzo de 2011

Superheroes and Supervillains

There's a bunch of superhero movies coming up in the next two years so I thought I could recolect all the info I have so far about each one.

GREEN LANTERN

This production was suposed to be released by now, but apparently they keep on having problems with cast, footage, bla bla bla

The leading part of Hal Jordan, the first human Green Lantern (as there are a whole lot of Green Lanterns) has been casted to Ryan Reynolds. A bit young for the part but definetly seems cocky enough to play Hal.


A quick synopsis. Every Green Lantern bears a ring that gives power over the universe's forces as far as one understands them. Humans have always been way too stupid for theese things and have been excluded from intergalactical meetings and everything. But luckily an alien brings a ring to the first ever chosen human Green Lantern, Hal (actually the alien crashes on earth and dies while giving the ring so you might think it's all some kind of accident). So with the humans stupid and ignorant bravery and determination Green Lanters fight back an evil bla bla bla (you get it). Oh! And he fools around with a dumb-blond!

Here's a terrible trailer
Not really excited about this one

THOR

Airs NEXT month! (in the States at least) Leading part (Thor) given to chris hemsworth. Again, too young for Thor but it takes place in his early years, so ok.





Quick synopsis. Thor goes a bit berserk and pisses off the wrong viking giants. They obviously go twice as berserk and start a big-fat-god-war which puts Asgard's 'king'/daddy of Thor in quite a pickle (played by Anthony Hopkins!!! ). So Anibal  Daddy-Thor gives Son-Thor a kick in the ass so big he lands on earth. And that's how he becomes one of Earths guardians...as a punishment. Oh!, and he fools around with Natalie Portman!


CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER

Coming this summer to a theater near you. (They always say this on american trailers)

The main role was given to Chris Evans which you remember from The Fantastic 4 movie where he plays the human torch. He is kind of terrible but they only needed a beefy actor and he has big male breasts so I think he'll do fine.



Quick synopsis. Steve Rogers is a skinny weak useless American who desires only to join the army and kick some nazi ass. Of course he is rejected. But Americans have grown sick and tired of all the naziness going around so they invert big loads of money into science to beat them. Oh yes, their project...the superhero-maker machine!! Because Americans don't see the fun in winning wars with human soldiers anymore. So the first one to try the hyperfast-esteroid-effect machine is the weak soldier Steve Rogers. And tadaah! A big manly man comes out of the machine with huge male tits. Ironicaly, nazis have researched some villain making science (of course, to them its equally superhero making science and the villains are the others, but thats a whole new phylosophical topic). But Americans shall not worry! For Captain America has a shiny shield! And nazis don't so they loose. Oh! And he fools around with a vintage pin-up blond!

http://video.es.msn.com/watch/video/teaser-de-capitan-america/4pupkepd

THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN


The whole saga is starting over from the begining of the story because a new director is coming! After Sam Raimi asked for a big-fat expensive budget Sony politely kicked him out of the building through the back door into some garbage cans from were a black cat came out meowing its soul off (catwoman maybe?) . So Mark Webb filled his place (his last name is Webb OMG!!).

Creepy-looking Andrew Garfield is taking creepy-looking Tobey Maguire's part as Spiderman.

 So utterly creepy...

Oh! And I don't know who plays Mary-Jane, but he'll be fooling around with her for sure!
SUPERMAN: MAN OF STEEL

Henry Cavill is playing the new movie of Superman were the director aknowledges we all know the caracters and no one is introduced. Its a spin-off evolving Daily Planet, Luther and Brainiac fighting over some internet thing (maybe illegal download issues?)


Not bad, not bad.

It's airing on 2012 but not much is known so far, I've told you everything I know. Except that he doesn't fool around much with Louis this movie, too busy shutting down e-mule.

THE AVENGERS!!!!

Woohoo! Iron man, Captain America, Hulk, Thor appearing with the same cast from their individual movies, plus...Hawkeye!!! Played by Jeremy Renner and another bunch of less important superheroes.

Looking good!

Even less is known from this movie, but I'm guessing it'll be the early years of the Avengers.
Oh! And obviously they'll be fooling around with each other, but that's not on the movie for the kids to remain inoccent you know.

BATMAN: THE DARK KNIGHT RISES

The most serious and obscure of the directors of batman movies, Christopher Nolan, is making his final batman movie, the third. Still having Christian Bale as Batman (WOOHOO, SWEET!!) with Anne Hathaway as the new Catwoman and without our beloved Joker as he is dead =( The plot is starting off after the first of the trio so still no Robin will appear (Batman is still too young).

                                Woohoohohohoooo!

  And sadly enough there is still no trailer nor release date. I'll edit this as soon as I know anything. Oh! And I think all his lovers are either dead or in Arhkam Asylum for mental disorders, so not much fooling around for Batman. Maybe with Catwoman...he'll try. Anne Hathaway has a big mouth.

See ya later bitches!!
                             

2 comentarios:

  1. ¿Por qué has puesto una foto de la antorcha humana en la peli al lado del Cap de dibujos?

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  2. Vale, acabo de leerlo, agree, he's beefy, that's for sure.

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